Assalamualaikum & Hello,

Yeah it's ya girl writing again （〜^∇^)〜

This past few days has been a learning day for me. Learn to be sabar, redha, tawakal, and some positive things. Those rough day has teach me a lot of things. To be honest to myself I wouldn't said it was a good day. It was suffocating and rather a lonely day.

So how is your upu result day? Mine was 'not-be-able-to-sleep-and-waking-up-to-early-and-looking-at-the-clock-all-day-long' day. It feels like my heart about to jump out from my chest. Truth to be told I didn't get my first choice uni. But thankfully I got the 6th choice. It's UniMAP and the course is Komunikasi Media Baharu.

Before those 'Thank God I am so grateful I still get a chance to study' I was in a not so good mental condition after I'm checking my upu result. Right after checking the result I still couldn't believe that I didn't get my first choice course. I want that course so bad that I'm checking the result multiple times. But still I don't want to believe it. I have that tiny little hope that maybe, just maybe, the result may not all be announce by today, maybe tomorrow. Those little hope kept me alive though I know I am lying to myself I still want to believe it. But how long I can fool myself because I am completely aware how those thing works so later that day after I told my mother I got my 6th choice I'm almost cried in front of her while eating (LOL). After that I crashed into my bedroom and broke to tears. Huhu

I don't really know why but it must feel so suffocating that I decided to told my close friends my result, and I said I didn't want that and cried again ei dasar budak hingusan. Then I shut down from outside world and just watching some movies until dawn (and ofcourse la sambil nangis lolol). The next day my mum asked me again about Uni and I started to lose my temper and said I don't really know either I want to go there or not. Blergh what a bad daughter I am. Then I cried again la apa lagi hek eleh. I don't know how but I contacting my counselor teacher and ask about what should I do. I act about to decide to enter the second intake but he said,

"ala kalau ust..pegi je...tapi tak tahu la ngko...ramai yg lgsung tk dapat tawaran pun ada"

"pegi jelah...segulung ijazah tu penting kerja kadg2 kelulusan lain kerje lain..byknya gitu"

That words make me wake up from my slumber. I also ask my close friend about that (yeah while crying my heart out) and what she said was a wake up call for me,

I wake up from bed, wipe my tears, wash my face and slap myself on the face ok taklah saja je. Lepastu I fikir-fikir balik betul jugak, maybe apa yang kita nak tu bukan yang terbaik untuk kita. Kita mungkin rasa kita suka dan minat benda tu tapi tiba-tiba bila dah start belajar kita tak boleh bawak dan rasa tak mampu nak carry on. Ramai je orang macam tu, dah setahun study lepastu drop out tukar course lain alasan tak boleh bawak. Tapi on the first place kita jugak yang mohon course tu. Takpe tak dapat first choice awak, Tuhan tu tau apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Minat tu boleh pupuk. Tabahkan hati dan lalu je jalan yang terbukak untuk kita. Jangan lupa cakap Alhamdulillah hehe.

So lepasni bermula la kehidupan Selangor-Perlis saya. Tapi tarikh pendaftaran awal gila 26 August cepat betul. Masih belum sedia lagi (╥_╥) Jadi whoever read my longass entry ni cuba lah think positive about things that happened around us. Setiap yang berlaku tu ada hikmahnya. Rezeki ada kat mana-mana. Kalau dah rezeki tu memang Tuhan bagi untuk kita takkan la tersilap tiba-tiba orang lain yang dapat. Cuma kita je butakan mata tak nampak apa yang dah ada depan mata.

Whatever happen always thank to god. After those two days of lebam mata days, here I am standing proud and stronger than before. Kadang-kadang kena jatuh dulu baru boleh sedar tak semua benda akan ikut kehendak kita. Kadang-kadang kena berdarah dulu baru sedar kita ni manusia biasa. And pardon my grammatical error I'm still learning.